Martyr Syndrome

I've always been someone who has a bit of trouble with martyr syndrome.  You know, the person who puts every one's needs before their own and then complains about how no one appreciates them (yes, I fully realize that this is a ridiculously unattractive quality in a person).  And truth be told, it's probably gotten worse since the baby's been born.  She's almost nine months old and if you don't count work I think that I've been away from both kids at once approximately three times - once for a doctor's appointment (that shouldn't even count, right?), once to go see Wicked with my sister (thanks for the great birthday present, Ben!), and once to go on a bike ride with Ben (yep, that was our hot date).  And when I'm not out, I'm home cooking and washing and folding and feeding and pumping and making all the baby food.

But I had a change of heart this weekend as I realized that nine months is long enough to put everything and everyone before yourself.  And after nine months of doing for others, I shouldn't feel guilty about doing something for myself.  So on Friday I did something that I haven't done in over a year - I took a nice, long, hot bath.  Granted I had a little three year old sitting beside the bathtub the whole time begging to come in (she had even taken off all her clothes - that girl really knows how to work a guilt-trip) but I told her not tonight.  And yesterday when I should have been cleaning the house for my mother-in-law's visit, I packed up the baby and went on a nice long walk around the neighborhood.  And this morning, I went out to brunch with my sister - no babies in tow.

Which is all just to say that I think that I've turned a corner.  And yes, I realize that 2012 is not yet over, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's going to be a great 2013.