The Phases of Parenting

O back in the day - Otherwise known as
Phase One

Over the past twenty months I've learned a couple of things about this whole parenthood thing (not a lot of things, mind you, just a couple).  One thing that I've learned is that parenting occurs in phases.

Perhaps you recognize some of them?

Phase 1 - Sleep Phase.  You're obsessed with sleep.  You want it.  You need it.  You read every book about it.  You try every technique you find on the internet.  The idea of a decent night's sleep rules your thoughts.  It's your everything.

Phase 2 - Safety Phase.  You're obsessed with trying to make sure that your now-mobile baby doesn't accidentally kill herself.  You put up the baby gate (and mostly remember to close it).  You install foam padding around your fireplace ledge.  There are plugs in your sockets and locks on your cabinets.  Friends and relatives come over to visit and can't figure out how to open anything.

Phase 3 - Spelling Phase.  Your child's language skills are developing at lightening speeds and in order to avoid any mishaps or tantrums you end up finishing each sentence with a cleverly spelled-out word.  "Do you know where the c-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e is?"  "Do you think it's time for her to take a n-a-p?"  "I have to go to the s-t-o-r-e." 

We are currently knee-deep in Phase Three...which is kind of funny only because I am the world's worst speller and sadly there's no spell-check in everyday conversation.