Seriously, people, if you're not nailed down to something in this house, there is a good chance that you will either be thrown away or given away. The massive purge is coming.
(Don't be all that impressed with the purging effort. I have major hoarding tendencies and this is long overdue. Like these textbooks? They're from over a decade ago and I've opened them approximately zero times in that decade. See? Total hoarder.)